Cheap Golf Trip

Five young Scotsmen and five young Englishmen happen to be traveling via train to have a golf weekend. The Scots had their golf clubs and golf bags, but only one ticket between them. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots and their golf equipment piled into the toilet stall at the back of […]

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Which End is Up?

A Golfer, on a visit to the old sod, had been slicing off the tee on every hole. He asks his Irish caddy if he has noticed any obvious reasons  for his poor tee shots, to which the caddy replies: “Aye, there’s a piece of shyt on the end of your driver. ” The Golfer […]

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It’s Not My Fault

A husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples’ alternate shot golf tournament at his club. He teed off on the first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards down the middle of the fairway. Upon reaching the ball, the husband said to his wife, “Just hit it toward the green, anywhere […]

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Power Golf Terms for the Macho Golfer

Flame Broiled: A burner right up the middle, a shot so hot it increases the temperature of the fairway in front of you! Blazing a Trail: Powerful penetration into a dense forest of out of bounds jungle foliage, so deep that it takes a full safari expedition to find your ball. Long and Wrong: A […]

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golf and beer

Don’t I Know You?

After a round of golf, Scott stumbles into the clubhouse’s 19th hole for a cold one. He approaches the only other customer there and says, “Hi, my name is Scott. Could I buy you a drink?” “Why of course,” came the reply. “And my name is Andrew.” During the ensuing conversation the question arose as […]

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But it Looks Cool When I Do It

An amateur golfer was talking to his golf pro. “How do you get so much backspin on your golf ball?” he asked. The golf pro says, “Before I answer that question, let me ask you one first. How far do you hit your seven iron?” “About 130 yards, I guess”, replies the amateur. Pro: “Then […]

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Drive for Show, Putt for Dough

“Piece of cake! A long drive and a putt.” said the cocky golfer as he teed his ball and looked down the fairway towards the green. With a mighty swing he topped the ball and managed only a couple of yards in front of the tee box. His caddy slowly handed him a club and […]

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If You Can’t Say Anything Nice …

The Justice of the Peace in a small town was about to tee off with a couple of good friends when the club pro approached them and offered to join them. It seemed like a perfect opportunity for a free lesson and some good golf tips. But instead of being helpful, the pro was openly […]

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